If you grew up in the past three decades paying attention to pop culture, then you know Britney Spears. She took America by storm since she was just a little girl with her raw vocal talent and knack for dancing. With her quick rise to fame came unexpected and unwanted attention: being scrutinized by the media for her clothes, her body, her virginity, and later on, her mental health.
It didn’t matter that she was successful; she shaved her head and went “rogue,” so she was “bad.” She was put under a conservatorship, a legal status where someone else is appointed to take care of personal and financial matters instead of the original person, typically reserved for the elderly or disabled: of which, she is neither. Britney Spears’ book The Woman In Me uncovers the Circus that was her life, the abuse she endured, and how she is recovering to this day.
Britney Spears revolutionized teen pop during the 1990s and early 2000s. She signed with Jive Records in 1997 at the young age of 15, and faced immediate success. …Baby One More Time and Oops!…I Did It Again are among the best-selling albums of all time.
She’s a famous artist, but she’s also a mother of two boys (Sean Preston Federline and Jayden James Federline), as well as an author, as of October 2023.
Spears, with the help of ghostwriter Sam Lansky, tells her story. She starts with her early life, hiding no tarnishes, such as her family’s struggles with mental health and her father’s alcoholism, and how both have affected her throughout her career.
Spears began taking dance lessons in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana, and from then, she was hooked. She later tried out for the 1990s revival of The Mickey Mouse Club, and after being rejected the first time and returning later with more experience, she was hired in December of 1992 as well as Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, and Keri Russell. After the termination of The Mickey Mouse Club, she realized she needed to pursue her true passion: music.
After a few rejections, Jive Records signed Spears and ordered a full album, which we know today as the infamous …Baby One More Time.
With so much success so fast, Spears realized that her life would never be the same. She was no longer a 15 year old girl in Louisiana: she was a national super star. And with all that attention came a lot of unwanted attention, too.
Male hosts, some who could be classified as Womanizers, constantly asked about her breasts, her virginity, and her “risqué” clothing. She noted that many of her male peers simply weren’t asked these questions. In fact, the sexism in the industry is very easily distinguished from her recollection of her time dating Justin Timberlake.
Their relationship was very serious very fast, which unfortunately led to many issues. Timberlake allegedly cheated on Spears with numerous women, but that’s not how he told the story. Through his music videos, he alluded to Britney Spears cheating on him, and how it hurt him so much– and everyone believed it, because why wouldn’t they?
What didn’t make it into the press was the abortion she underwent at Timberlake’s request, and the pain and heartache it caused her. Britney Spears recounts her loneliness at this time and how, no matter what, she felt her story would be overshadowed by Timberlake’s.
She fell into a deep depression, feeling as if the world was against her, and no matter what she did, it was wrong. She later married Kevin Federline, with whom she had their children, and ultimately divorced in 2007. During a long and difficult custody battle, Spears was often photographed at her worst: she lost her children, lost her voice, and lost any support system she had (if there even was one to begin with). The most infamous photos from this time are when she shaved her head, and proceeded to smash a car window with an umbrella. This image tarnished her reputation, changing her from being a pop star to a Crazy woman. She was put under a conservatorship for her well-being, but what she really needed was support and real, genuine help.
After 13 years of having her life controlled at the hands of her Toxic father, being told what to eat, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, when to perform, and even being denied the removal of her IUD, she had enough when her father allegedly hurt one of her sons. She started searching for a good lawyer, and a court date was eventually set.
In November of 2021, the conservatorship was removed, and Britney was free. After years of other people telling her story– the press, her Criminal father, and numerous documentaries– she decided it was time to tell hers.
“Sometimes I talk trash on Instagram. People don’t know why I have such anger toward my parents. But I think if they were in my shoes, they would understand.”
Britney Spears’ “The Woman In Me,” pg. 171
Britney does not deny that the trauma she endured made her Stronger, and she makes it clear that she would not be the woman she is today if it weren’t for that trauma. But she also makes it clear that she, or any woman for that matter, shouldn’t have to be that strong in the first place, because no one should go through what she did.
Being a religious woman herself, one would think that she’d be preaching “forgiveness sets you free,” but it’s the opposite.
In our patriarchal society, women are indirectly, and sometimes directly, told to not express anger. It’s not feminine, it’s not pretty, so don’t do it. But Britney Spears has a lot of rage because of her past, and she doesn’t hide it, because women shouldn’t have to.
“In that moment, I made peace with my family– by which I mean that I realized I never wanted to see them again, and I was at peace with that.”
Britney Spears’ “The Woman In Me,” pg. 251
While there were some flaws, such as a vague description of some vital points in her career (such as the sexualization of her from such a young age and how that affected her later on, and her Instagram posts), one thing that this book really gets right is peace.
While she says that reaching peace is important, she actually defines her version of peace. “Peace,” to Britney, is not forgiving her family for what they did to her, or even keeping them in her life. Peace is being alone, and being at peace knowing that you are okay alone. So no, she does not forgive them– but she’s still free.
The idea that you have to forgive someone who traumatized you is absolutely ludicrous: and that’s really the takeaway from Britney’s book. Sometimes it’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to feel that. Don’t let it destroy you, but remember that you don’t owe anyone anything.
All you can do is be and accept yourself.
